Gratitude and Grief at Thanksgiving

Self-Brain Surgery™ can help you manage holiday stress

Happy Thanksgiving week, my friend.

It’s my favorite holiday, because Thanksgiving is the time to reflect on all that we’ve been given, all the ways we can give back, and the only holiday that’s all about self-brain surgery™!

The Spiritual Power of Gratitude

The Bible often ties gratitude to peace and resilience. Paul wrote, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7, NIV).

This passage isn’t just a command to be grateful—it’s a reminder that thanksgiving invites God’s peace into our most difficult circumstances. Gratitude aligns our hearts and minds with hope, anchoring us in the unshakable truth that we’re never alone, even in our grief.

Gratitude and Grace: Overcoming Holiday Stress and Rekindled Grief

If you’re heading into this Thanksgiving with a heavy heart because of a fresh loss, we see you. Lisa and I have been navigating the loss of our son Mitch for twelve Thanksgivings now, and this will be the seventh since we lost her mom, our beloved Patty.

So we acknowledge that holidays can be both a season of joy and a stark reminder of loss. The empty chair, the pressure to create the perfect gathering—it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. So, how do we navigate the tension?

The answer lies in how God designed our minds to rewire our brains using gratitude. That’s why Thanksgiving is the perfect holiday to integrate faith and neuroscience through self-brain surgery- because gratitude can help rewire our brains and reshape how we experience this season.

The Neuroscience of Gratitude

Research shows that practicing gratitude activates the brain's reward system. When we focus on what we’re thankful for, we stimulate areas like the prefrontal cortex, which plays a critical role in managing emotions, and the ventral striatum, linked to feelings of pleasure and satisfaction. Gratitude also reduces activity in the amygdala, the brain's fear and stress center, which can calm the physical symptoms of anxiety and grief.

Ann Voskamp and I went deep into the neuroscience of thanksgiving on our recent podcast conversation. Check it out by clicking the button below!

Gratitude literally creates new neural pathways, reinforcing a sense of well-being and helping us shift from dwelling on what’s missing to appreciating what remains.

In short, gratitude isn’t just a nice idea—it’s self-brain surgery™.

Practicing Gratitude in Difficult Seasons

If you’re struggling this Thanksgiving, here are some simple ways to reframe your mindset:

1. Check out last week’s podcast, a conversation with bestselling author and pastor Mark Batterson, to learn how to find things to be grateful for even in the worst moments.

2. Start Small: Write down one thing you’re grateful for each morning. It could be as simple as a warm cup of coffee or the love of a friend.

3. Honor the Memories: Instead of suppressing grief, express it. Share a story about your loved one or set aside a moment to light a candle in their honor. Gratitude doesn’t erase pain—it transforms it into something sacred.

4. Serve Others: Acts of kindness shift your focus outward, reminding you of the abundance in giving. Volunteer, write a note of encouragement, or simply listen to someone else’s story.

5. Pray with Thanksgiving: As Paul encourages, pair your prayers with thanks. Thank God for the strength to carry on, the people who stand beside you, and the promise of His peace.

This Thanksgiving, let’s choose gratitude—not as a way to ignore the hard things, but as a tool to navigate them. In the tension between joy and sorrow, stress and celebration, gratitude creates space for peace, healing, and hope.

The table may not be perfect, and the empty chair may never feel “normal,” but in the practice of thanksgiving our brains become more resilient as our minds connect to the healing power of the Great Physician’s design of our incredible nervous system.

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Your story can inspire someone else to take the first step toward transformation. If self-brain surgery has impacted you, please share your testimonial with us. Together, we can spread hope and healing.

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Be sure to check out last week’s lesson if you missed it.

Announcement: We’re starting The School of Self-Brain Surgery™ soon. If you’re interested in knowing more about The School, click here to be notified when it’s ready to go live. Join over 700 people already signed up for The School of Self-Brain Surgery™. This transformative program will equip you with the tools to change your mind—and your life. Don’t miss out—click here to get on the list to be notified when the school is ready (note that you won’t receive a reply; we’ll let you know soon when the school enrollment is available).

We’re going all in on believing that we have the tools to change our minds and change our lives. Living from a mind-down perspective changes everything, and it helps us harness the transforming changes to our lives that the Bible promises in Romans 12.

And the good news is, you can start today.

If you need a treatment plan to help you overcome any kind of trauma, tragedy, or massive thing in your life, check out my latest book, Hope Is the First Dose.

Lisa and I are praying for you.

Dum spiro spero (While I breathe, I hope),

Lee

Psalm 71:14 ("As for me, I will always have hope.")

P.S. If you think these lessons are valuable, please consider sharing this with friends. If you share with three or more people and they sign up, you can get free access to my paid subscriber content!

From the banks of the North Platte river on Moon River Ranch in Nebraska, USA

If you would like to support this work with a one-time gift, use the button below (Note: support for Self-Brain Surgery™ is not tax-deductible)

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