Manging Holiday Loneliness and Depression
Self-Brain Surgery™ can help
Good morning my friend!
We pray that you had a great Thanksgiving. It’s been a crazy time of family gatherings, travel, and some incredible college football as well.
I had a wonderful conversation with Meade Shirley and Christy Osborne on their podcast. But Jesus Drank Wine recently. If you’re struggling with alcohol or anything else and find yourself having trouble staying on track during the holidays, this talk about how Self-Brain Surgery™ intersects with recovery and addiction will help! Also, be sure to tune into my podcast tomorrow to hear a great talk between Christy Osborne and me about her wonderful new book, Love Life Sober.
As much as we love the holidays, they are not happy times for everyone. This week, I want to remind us to look out for those who may be struggling with grief (as we discussed last week), anxiety, or with the incredibly common seasonal flareups of loneliness and depression.
How Self-Brain Surgery™ Can Help with Holiday Depression and Loneliness
The holiday season, while a time of joy and connection for many, can also amplify feelings of sadness, loneliness, or grief. If you’re facing holiday depression or struggling with loneliness, self-brain surgery™ can be a powerful tool to reclaim hope and joy during this challenging time. By understanding how your thoughts influence your brain and behavior, you can take deliberate steps to reshape your mindset and emotions.
The Scope of the Problem
Statistics show that 38% of people report feeling increased stress during the holiday season, and 36% feel lonely, even while surrounded by others. Depression rates also spike around Thanksgiving and Christmas, with many attributing these struggles to unmet expectations, financial pressures, or the pain of loss. These challenges remind us how crucial it is to intentionally care for our mental health during this season.
The Neuroscience of Holiday Depression and Loneliness
Holiday depression often stems from a combination of factors—loss, loneliness, unrealistic expectations, or even the seasonal dip in sunlight that affects serotonin levels in the brain. According to Hebb’s Law, “neurons that fire together wire together,” meaning the more we ruminate on negative thoughts, the stronger those neural pathways become. This can create a cycle of sadness, isolation, and despair, because of the Ninth Commandment of Self-Brain Surgery, what you’re doing, you’re getting better at.
Loneliness compounds this issue by activating the brain's stress response. Research shows that loneliness can trigger the same neural pathways as physical pain, increasing cortisol levels and impairing emotional regulation. However, neuroplasticity—the brain's ability to rewire itself—offers hope. By intentionally shifting your focus to gratitude, connection, and meaning, you can weaken negative patterns and build new, healthier ones.
A Spiritual Perspective
Scripture reminds us of the importance of gratitude, connection, and hope, even in difficult times. Psalm 34:18 tells us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” This promise assures us that we’re not alone in our struggles.
Philippians 4:8 offers practical advice that aligns beautifully with neuroscience: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Choosing what to focus on is an act of self-brain surgery, directing your attention to what uplifts rather than what drags you down.
Practical Steps for Holiday Self-Brain Surgery
Perform a Thought Biopsy:
When you feel the weight of holiday depression or loneliness, pause and examine your thoughts. Are they true, or are they distorted by your emotions? Thoughts like “I’m completely alone” may feel real but are often exaggerations. Reframe these into truths, like “I am loved by God and can take steps to connect with others.”Use Gratitude as a Scalpel:
Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for changing your brain. Start a daily gratitude journal or reflect on three things you’re thankful for each day. Gratitude activates the prefrontal cortex, which helps regulate emotions and counters the limbic system’s negativity bias.Combat Loneliness with Connection:
Depression and loneliness thrive in isolation. Push back by reaching out to someone—a family member, friend, or even a stranger in need. Volunteer at a shelter, attend a holiday event, or invite someone over for coffee. Acts of kindness release oxytocin and endorphins, boosting your mood and fostering connection.Seek Light—Literally and Spiritually:
If seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a factor, consider using a light therapy box or spending time outdoors. Spiritually, remember John 1:5: “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”Pray Persistently:
Prayer is a form of meditation that connects you to God while calming your mind. Isaiah 26:3 promises, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”
Stop Contemplating, and Start Operating
Self-brain surgery is about taking small, intentional steps to redirect your thoughts and feelings. By combining neuroscience principles with the hope offered by scripture, you can navigate holiday depression and loneliness with grace and resilience. Healing begins with a single thought—a thought you can choose to take captive and transform into something life-giving.
Your story can inspire someone else to take the first step toward transformation. If self-brain surgery has impacted you, please share your testimonial with us. Together, we can spread hope and healing.
Announcement: We’re starting The School of Self-Brain Surgery™ soon. If you’re interested in knowing more about The School, click here to be notified when it’s ready to go live. Join over 700 people already signed up for The School of Self-Brain Surgery™. This transformative program will equip you with the tools to change your mind—and your life. Don’t miss out—click here to get on the list to be notified when the school is ready (note that you won’t receive a reply; we’ll let you know soon when the school enrollment is available).
We’re going all in on believing that we have the tools to change our minds and change our lives. Living from a mind-down perspective changes everything, and it helps us harness the transforming changes to our lives that the Bible promises in Romans 12.
And the good news is, you can start today.
If you need a treatment plan to help you overcome any kind of trauma, tragedy, or massive thing in your life, check out my latest book, Hope Is the First Dose.
Lisa and I are praying for you.
Dum spiro spero (While I breathe, I hope),
Lee
Psalm 71:14 ("As for me, I will always have hope.")
P.S. If you think these lessons are valuable, please consider sharing this with friends. If you share with three or more people and they sign up, you can get free access to my paid subscriber content!
From the banks of the North Platte river on Moon River Ranch in Nebraska, USA
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