Moving the Target

Three Essential Tools Every Self-Brain Surgeon Needs, Part 2

[If you missed the first part of this series, be sure to check it out, as it will help you get the most out of this three-part series. Click here to read in the archive of all my posts!]

One of the best shots I ever hit in golf did not count

I am not a great golfer. But once in a while, things connect just right and I’ll hit a beautiful shot. That’s one of the things that makes golf so frustratingly enticing- bad golfers hit just enough great shots to make them believe they’re just one new club away from being the next Scottie Scheffler.

But Tata and I were playing one day in Wyoming, shortly after he moved there to live with us. We’d never played the course before, and we were excited to spend the morning together on a beautiful morning. The backdrop of Casper Mountain provided gorgeous scenery, and the round started off with both of us playing pretty well.

That’s when it happened.

My tee shot had miraculously landed in the fairway (a rare feat!), and it looked like I was close enough to the green to go for it with my second shot. I should have realized it then, because the hole was a par five, and I don’t often hit the first shot close enough to reach the green in two shots.

But this day, the sun was shining and the wind was calm, and Tata encouraged me to go for it. I pulled my three iron out of my bag, lined up, and hit the most beautiful shot of my life. The ball landed just in front of the green, took one bounce, and rolled to within about three feet of the hole, leaving me an easy putt for a very rare (for me) eagle.

Tata and I high-fived each other, and I was looking around to see if someone from the PGA Tour was around, as that shot would surely have qualified me to turn pro.

But my joy was short-lived.

A golfer who was passing by in his cart had stopped to let me hit. He called out, “Hey buddy, you just shot at the wrong green!”

He came over and introduced himself to us. He said, “First time playing this course?”

We shook his had and told him yes, we were new to the course.

He said, “Happens all the time here. The green you shot at is for a different hole. You want that one,” as he pointed out something we’d missed.

As it turned out, the fairway for the hole we were playing made a subtle turn just past where my ball had landed. Our green was at the end of that long dogleg, much further away than the one at which I’d shot.

“Easy mistake,” he said as he drove away, still chuckling under his breath at my error.

According to the rules of golf, I had to pay a penalty called stroke and distance. That means, I had to go get my ball, bring it back to where I’d shot from, and then make a shot in the right direction. So, what had been my second shot on that hole was now going to be my third, because of the penalty. And, even though the other green where my ball was lying was just across a few trees from the correct green, I wasn’t allowed to shoot from there. I had to shoot from the proper location.

And of course, me being a not-great golfer and having hit a shot so far outside my normal performance, and now frustrated at having to take a penalty, I went on to make a triple bogey (a really bad score) on the hole instead of the easy eagle (a very good score) I thought I was going to make.

It was a painful, if humorous, lesson. But it’s a good example of what happens when you shoot at the wrong target.

We often struggle because we’re aiming in the wrong direction

As I learned on the golf course, if you shoot at the wrong target, it doesn’t matter how great of a shot you hit. It won’t count, plus there’s a penalty to pay. And unfortunately, the penalty is often a lot worse than having to write down a bad score.

Think about your life for a moment. Are there situations where you keep working to get better, but the effort never seems to bring the results you want? You finally think you’ve figured out exactly how to hit the perfect shot, but when you finally pull it off people chuckle and point out that you weren’t even aiming at the right green?

This letter isn’t about golf, it’s about life

Friday’s podcast was about goal posts. It’s about the fact that we often find ourselves struggling in life because it never seems to work out in a way that leaves us satisfied (much less happy), and we wonder why.

In that episode, we discuss the neuroscience and what scripture has to say about making sure we’re aiming at the right set of goal posts. Doing this ensures that when we finally hit what we’re aiming for, the result will be something that matters, that produces joy, or gives us peace. (See below to listen or watch the episode!)

Here’s what you need to know:

🎯 Shooting at the wrong target will never produce the result you want, even if you make a perfect shot

🎯 Once you realize that you need to move your goal posts, failing to do so is a form of self-malpractice that violates our first commandment of self-brain surgery (“I must relentlessly refuse to participate in my own demise.”)

🎯 Often, you hit the target, find that it did not produce what you thought it would, and you decide that you just need to get even better at hitting it. But working to hit the same wrong target over and over will only get you more penalties.

I can’t wait to hear from you when you figure out what target you should have been aiming for, because once you do, that bit of self-brain surgery will transform your life in ways you can’t even imagine right now.

🧠 Neuroscience Nugget:

Your reticular activating system (RAS) acts like the brain’s filter—it helps you notice what you’ve decided is important. If you keep aiming at the wrong target (status, approval, comfort, control), your brain will reinforce and prioritize those goals, even if they’re harmful or hollow.

👉 But if you shift your attention to a more meaningful, purpose-aligned goal, your brain will begin to rewire itself to support that pursuit instead. This is the ninth commandment of self-brain surgery in action (“I must believe that what I’m doing, I’m getting better at.”)

📖 Faith Fact:

Jesus promised that striving after anything that we can lose will never produce happiness.

“Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” (Matthew 6:19-21, NLT)

Paul said it like this:

“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”
— Colossians 3:2 (NIV)

Now that we’ve thought through all this, let’s scrub in and change our lives by applying this self-brain surgery!

🧠 Let’s stop contemplating, and start operating:

🎯 Take a moment today to ask yourself: Am I aiming in the right direction, or do I need to move the goal posts?

Before you spend more energy, effort, or emotion chasing something, make sure it's a target that matters. The right goals align with who you truly are, what God wired you for, and what will bring lasting peace and joy.

🧠 Need help figuring it out? That’s what Friday’s podcast was all about.

➡️ Don’t waste another perfect shot on the wrong green. Shift your aim, and it will change your life.

And remember my prescription for today:

“If you’re going to play a game, make sure you want the prize.”

Dr. Lee Warren

👉 Subscribe to my newsletter, and I’ll send you my free Thought Biopsy Worksheet to help you start.

Already subscribed? Just email us at contact@drleewarren.com and we’ll send it your way.

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📣Announcing: The Brain Surgeon and the Therapist 📣

On July 11, I’m recording the first in a series (hopefully) of podcasts with Gina Birkemeier, a brilliant therapist and author. Gina was on my podcast before, and we realized that it would be helpful to you to have us get together again and answer some of your questions. (🎩 Hat tip to Gina for the catchy title)

This is your chance to ask questions of Gina, me, or both of us, and we’ll build an episode (or possibly more if you like it). Here are three ways you can submit questions:

1. The most fun would be for YOU to join us on the podcast! You can record a video question using this link, and we’ll include you in the show! It’s super easy, and all you have to do is record. We’ll take care of the rest. Please start with your name and where you’re from, and then ask your question.

2. You can leave your question via voice mail, and we’ll use your voice on the show. SpeakPipe has a limit of 90 seconds for the messages.

3. You can email your questions to contact@drleewarren.com

Please remember: we cannot answer specific medical questions, and we cannot provide medical care or mental health care to you. Answering a question does not constitute a doctor-patient or therapist-patient relationship. If you want your question answered without using your name or voice, please email it to us instead.

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👉Share this message with someone who needs to learn the life-changing power of self-brain surgery. If you share with three friends who subscribe, I’ll give you a month of access to my paid content for free!

Want more tools for rewiring your brain and renewing your mind?

🎙️ Subscribe to The Self-Brain Surgery with Dr. Lee Warren Podcast for weekly strategies to change your brain—and your life.
📖 Grab my book Hope Is the First Dose for a roadmap to recovery and transformation.
📘 And stay tuned for The Life-Changing Art of Self-Brain Surgery—coming February 2026!

🎧 Be sure to tune in to Mind-Change Monday tomorrow on the podcast—where we’ll finish this series with a deep look into how YOU can take charge of how your brain rewires itself for healing, hope, and higher performance!

📺 Paid subscribers—scroll down to watch it now.

The good news is, you can start today.

Let’s get after it. 🧠✝️

Lisa and I are praying for you.

Dum spiro spero (While I breathe, I hope),

Lee

Psalm 71:14 ("As for me, I will always have hope.")

From the banks of the North Platte river on Moon River Ranch in Nebraska, USA

Be sure to check out the archive of previous posts if you missed last week’s letter.