Thoughts all seem true, because they sound like you. They’re in your voice, and surely you wouldn’t lie to yourself, right?
The bad news is, research suggests that you have between 20,000 and 60,000 automatic thoughts per day. These are the thoughts that just “pop into” your head, and they are overwhelmingly (studies indicate around 80%) negative and false, and that up to 95% of them are simply the same repetitive, negative, untrue thoughts you had the day before.
So, you have a huge number of thoughts that come into your mind every day, and they sound like you. And most of those thoughts are deceptive, harmful, and are not actually coming from your mind.
That’s why our third commandment is this:
I must believe that most of my automatic thoughts are untrue.
(The Third Commandment of Self-Brain Surgery)
Read it out loud:
I must believe that most of my automatic thoughts are untrue.
“Wait, Doc,” you might say, “Where do these automatic and often false thoughts come from?, and, “How do I know if a thought is true or not?”
A simple way to think of it is that your brain is constantly trying to automate things so that you don’t have to spend as much mental energy consciously processing them. This explains why after you’ve driven to a new place a few times, you suddenly realize one day that you didn’t think about the drive at all. The first few times, you’re focused on every traffic light, speed limit sign, and the places where there are potholes, school zones, or dangerous intersections. Then one day, magically, you just find yourself there and notice that you listened to music or to The Dr. Lee Warren Podcast all the way, and you never actually thought about the drive.
That’s because your brain has automated (made synapses between neurons to create the memories, motor commands, and emotional signals to slow down or watch out in places where more attention is required). You’ve freed up mental space (because your mind is the boss and doesn’t need to be bothered with all the brain-down program details so you can think about other things.
The problem is, an automatic thought like, “Hey, I need to slow down here because there’s a school crossing,” sounds in your head just like one that says, “Everyone is always taking advantage of me. Nobody respects or loves me except when they need something from me.”
What’s happening is that your brain constantly scans for things to automate, and sends these to your mind as queries for permission. They are generated by memories, habits, situations that trigger emotions, or sometimes by physiological events that feel similar (the racing of the heart that comes with a new love interest, but feels sort of like the last time you were really hurt and scared, so it triggers an emotional signal that you interpret as danger). The brain then tries to contextualize these things for its permission query, and you hear that as a thought in your own voice.
Breaking down the previous example, the brain is basically asking you permission to feel overlooked and unloved, which to your mind sounds like a true thought, so you give mental consent for that thought to trigger a response. This is easy to turn into a loop that soon automates and becomes something that feels “true” in your life, because you will begin to act as though it is true.
And it’s all based on reacting to a thought that went unchallenged.
The solution? Learn a procedure to biopsy your thoughts and get your brain’s CEO (the frontal lobes) to help you recognize and respond to negative thinking in a healthier way.
The four part test you can run on the thought when you take the time to examine it is:
Is this thought true? Ask yourself objectively if it is 100% true, and if not, what is a replacement thought that is all or more true? (Well, some people don’t take advantage of me. Not EVERYONE disrespects me.”)
If the thought IS true, is it NECESSARY for you to take action on it, or is it necessary or helpful for you to think about it right now? This is especially helpful when thoughts are keeping you up at night. If it is not necessary or helpful, then you can use prayer or meditation to shift your mind off of the thought and into a more restful mode.
If it is true, is it compassionate or at least unharmful? If the thought is harmful or not compassionate, you need to perform surgery on it, or risk violating our first commandment of self-brain surgery, “I will relentlessly refuse to participate in my own demise.” If there’s a thought that true but it’s hurting you to think about it, you may need to take some action at the appropriate time to deal with the situation. For example, if your thought is one of guilt for something you did that needs to be addressed, confessed, rectified, etc., then this may be your conscience calling on you to make something right.
If the thought is necessary, but will hurt you if you don’t do something to make it untrue in the future (“I used to ______, but I made that right, and now that thought can no longer label or shame me.”). That way, the next time the thought pops us, you can use your mind to tell your brain who’s boss, and give thanks that you obeyed the nudge to fix something that needed to be fixed.
This is how we become healthier, feel better, and be happier, by changing our minds.
Here’s my free thought biopsy worksheet you can use to master this process.
How much would this simple self-brain surgery operation change your life?
Reply to this post and or leave a voicemail and tell us.
Listen to this podcast for more on The Third Commandment:
Be sure to check out last week’s lesson if you missed it.
We’re going all in on believing that we have the tools to change our minds and change our lives. Living from a mind-down perspective changes everything, and it helps us harness the transforming changes to our lives that the Bible promises in Romans 12.
The neuroscience is on your side, my friend.
And the good news is, you can start today.
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Lisa and I are praying for you.
Dum spiro spero (While I breathe, I hope),
Lee
Psalm 71:14 ("As for me, I will always have hope.")
From the banks of the North Platte river on Moon River Ranch in Nebraska, USA
Don’t forget that you can get the recent podcast archive with transcripts of all recent episodes by clicking the button below.
Dear Dr. Warren,
This post is another one of excellent timing. I have been thinking heavily about this as I attend to my aunt who recently fell and can no longer live alone. My aunt likely has a personality disorder so is an extreme in human behavior. She is nearly totally negative. Over the years, and now as I am dealing with her daily, I have pondered that she has determined her “story” of victimhood, with all paths leading to supporting that story. These paths end up all being negative and for the most part, untrue. The negativity and paranoia are described in personality disorder. Through her extreme of personality, I can see that she is unable to break out of this. It is such a miserable life.It is exactly as you describe. I told my friend that it is as if we end up in our own matrix. Jesus’ teaching about seeing the splinter in the other’s eye, and not the log in our own is such an amazing description of this process. When we are stuck in our own story/matrix, it is very hard to get out. You know this about human nature and the neurology of the brain, and are providing such valuable “biopsies” and “surgical procedures.” I am hopeful that as I see the splinters in my neighbor’s eye, I can use this as a reminder to keep looking for the logs in my own. Your teachings provide the framework to challenge my matrix. We can learn so much about ourselves in having the curiosity, rather than criticism, of observing those around us, and ourselves. Thanks to you and Lisa for your continued guidance in navigating the complexities of our minds and brains! Kathy