Regain the Wonder

Self-Brain Surgery™ to destress your Christmas

This post is for those who are burdened with making everything happen. The cooking and cleaning and shopping and wrapping and hosting, the bill paying and ends-meeting-making that can make the holidays feel anything but joyful.

If you’re there, carrying the load of responsibility or expectations that seems to drown out any merriment or is causing you stress that’s hurting your body or spirit, I have a simple self-brain surgery operation for you.

Kids see the magic. Their little eyes light up when presents appear under the tree, they tiptoe down the stairs to see what Santa may have brought, they rush into your arms with thanks when they unwrap that thing that was on their list!

But if you’re the one who feels responsible for making all that magic and the pressure is mounting to make it all perfect, let me give you something to think about:

You’ve already failed if you think that every dish has to be the best ever, every pie better than grandma ever made it, and every person at the table or around the tree feeling like THIS CHRISTMAS WILL NEVER BE TOPPED!!!

Why? Because nothing is ever perfect for everyone. That’s because how you perceive things (including holidays, meals, gifts, everything) has more to do with you and your current mood and emotional state than it does with the reality of the thing.

So, how someone receives your present or pecan pie is more about them than it is about you. And there has never been a gathering of humans (not even the last supper) in which everyone at the table was perfectly happy or even on the same page.

On the other hand, everything you do has unexpected positive consequences for someone. Think back on all the holidays of your life. What were the moments you remember the most fondly?

I bet it wasn’t, “Grandma managed to have every dish on the table at the perfect temperature and in the exact right quantity for all of us to be completely pleased with all of it.”

No, it was probably a private moment when you saw your cousin crying since it was the first Christmas since her mom died, and you gave her a hug and the two of you had a real conversation for the first time since you were kids.

Maybe it was the look in your grandson’s eyes when you shared a story with him about your time in the war, and later that day you heard him telling your son that Grandpa is his hero.

The things we remember are about the people, the connections, and the reason we’re there.

And so, if you spend a moment flashing back to prior years and the moments that still move you, you can reframe what’s happening now with this truth:

Everything is a success when you put people together and create space for them to build memories and love each other, even if it’s on FaceTime because your niece is deployed or you’re working in the oil fields this Christmas. Even if the store ran out of green beans and you couldn’t make your famous casserole. Even if this year is the first year without that person you’re all so devastated to have lost, years from now you’ll look back and be so grateful that you could come together to acknowledge their impact on you all.

It doesn’t have to be perfect. It never is.

But it always will be perfect, as long as you see it from the right perspective.

And that takes self-brain surgery:

• Pause: Take a moment to recognize your feelings of stress or overwhelm.

• Reflect: Recall the moments from past holidays that truly mattered.

• Reframe: Shift your focus from perfection to presence and connection.

• Celebrate Imperfection: Embrace the beauty of imperfection as a hallmark of real, meaningful experiences.

If you’re stressed about the meal, Pause to breathe, Reflect on a cherished holiday moment from years past, Reframe the situation by focusing on the joy of being together rather than the perfect menu, and Celebrate Imperfection by laughing off the missing casserole or burnt cookies.

Let the Great Physician Help. These two verses will help remind you not to carry all the weight alone:

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

“Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

When stress feels unmanageable, these reminders help shift our focus from what’s wrong to who’s in control.

This season, let go of the pressure to make everything perfect and instead focus on the moments that truly matter. When you Pause, Reflect, Reframe, and Celebrate Imperfection, you’ll discover the joy and meaning you’ve been missing.

The wonder of the holidays isn’t in the perfect pie or the most beautifully wrapped gift—it’s in the connections we make, the love we share, and the memories that grow out of even the simplest, messiest moments. And most importantly, it’s in remembering the reason we celebrate: that Jesus Christ came into the world to bring us hope, joy, and salvation through His ultimate sacrifice.

Let the Great Physician remind you to cast your anxieties on Him and be still in the knowledge that He is in control. When you do, you’ll regain the wonder—the childlike awe of seeing beauty and magic in the imperfections of this season, and the eternal gratitude for the gift of Christ.

Try this self-brain surgery operation over the next few weeks, and let us know how it helps you rediscover joy and wonder this holiday season. Share your story with us to inspire others on their journey to a happier, healthier holiday season.

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Your story can inspire someone else to take the first step toward transformation. If self-brain surgery has impacted you, please share your testimonial with us. Together, we can spread hope and healing.

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Share this message with someone who needs encouragement this holiday season, and let’s spread the joy and wonder of Christmas together.

We’re going all in on believing that we have the tools to change our minds and change our lives. Living from a mind-down perspective changes everything, and it helps us harness the transforming changes to our lives that the Bible promises in Romans 12.

And the good news is, you can start today.

Be sure to check out last week’s letter if you missed it!

If you need a treatment plan to help you overcome any kind of trauma, tragedy, or massive thing in your life, check out my latest book, Hope Is the First Dose.

Lisa and I are praying for you.

Dum spiro spero (While I breathe, I hope),

Lee

Psalm 71:14 ("As for me, I will always have hope.")

From the banks of the North Platte river on Moon River Ranch in Nebraska, USA

If you would like to support this work with a one-time gift, use the button below (Note: support for Self-Brain Surgery™ is not tax-deductible)

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